The first step to dissociation is disrespect.
There comes a time when we need to dissociate with everyone.
Everyone means everyone, including ourselves. As we grow old, and we realize there is not much time left, or put it better, the end is now near, we need to start dissociating with our interests, hobbies, likes (and dislikes), and favorite food and so on.
There are many a times we are shown that we are no more wanted.
By our own relatives, it can be cousins or own siblings or offspring or spouse.
The first step to dissociation is disrespect.
So, if you find someone disrespecting you, it is to be read as you are no more wanted or needed.
It is hard to accept the reality, but it is the truth.
The sooner we accept the truth, the better it is because, life afterwards will be better.
I have seen or experienced this many a times.
One of my friends Prabhakar and his family had this habit. They used to talk to me and when I felt I could be friends with them, they used to quietly disrespect me.
This was a way of telling me “not wanted”.
I was working for a company, and my boss did the same thing. Till the situation was dicey he was very friendly with me. The day he realized he was safe, he started disrespecting me and other seniors in the company.
At another instance, I had the opportunity to work under one, Dr. Menon. He found a replacement and he immediately started disrespecting me. Hinting, you are no longer wanted.
This applies to relatives also.
Husbands disrespect you, when they want to leave.
Wife disrespects you when she is secure elsewhere.
Children disrespect, when they want to go away and not share their happiness and success with you.
My good hearted cousin A. Muralikrishna, had once told me life is a mixture of meetings and partings.
It is actually, a mixture of wooing and disrespecting – wooing before meetings, disrespecting before partings!
My dear late father was a widower at the age of 53 yrs.
And, we stayed together for 27 yrs till he quietly passed away, on March 10, 2017.
The one thing he always checked with me was whether I was respecting him or not.
If I showed him respect, he was happy!!
On my part, I made sure, he was an important part of my family and he never felt disrespected.
We had our share of arguments, very few, but, I always took the responsibility of making up, and showing him the respect he deserved. And, things would be normal.
Even though we did not give him a grand send off, I had the immense satisfaction of seeing him happy many many times.
Our close family friend, Reddy Garu’s wife, told me, Krishna, it is because you stayed with your father he lived happy and long, till the age of 80 yrs.
This is the only sweet words I received.
Am sure, my mother also would have been happy.
